Thursday, September 04, 2003
The End
I saw Liz last night.
Don’t believe in chasing.
But I was so afraid it would be forever till I see her again.
I started telling her about my other lives.
She started school – making good on the promise to herself.
She made a good argument otherwise: logical.
We talked about ‘her guy’; dance lessons in the City.
I do not care if she’s just using me . . .
If only there was a way for her to Tap me – 24/7.
But I am not always accessible, hum?
Now all I want is to take care of myself so,
I can see her again . . . next week, next month, two months from now . . . sigh
This had better pass – I need those jagged edges.
I saw Liz last night.
Don’t believe in chasing.
But I was so afraid it would be forever till I see her again.
I started telling her about my other lives.
She started school – making good on the promise to herself.
She made a good argument otherwise: logical.
We talked about ‘her guy’; dance lessons in the City.
I do not care if she’s just using me . . .
If only there was a way for her to Tap me – 24/7.
But I am not always accessible, hum?
Now all I want is to take care of myself so,
I can see her again . . . next week, next month, two months from now . . . sigh
This had better pass – I need those jagged edges.
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
no title necessry
It’s always one side of my hand with you.
My fault.
I allow you to get away with Bloody Murder.
You’re impertinent behavior, I tolerate.
The Churlishness displayed should be a badge of honor.
Words / Actions Uncompromised // Raw & Honest.
I forget my lessons: impersonal, ‘Do no Damage’, emasculated passion.
It is foolish of me to give the tools to hurt me – Ostentatious.
It’s always one side of my hand with you.
My fault.
I allow you to get away with Bloody Murder.
You’re impertinent behavior, I tolerate.
The Churlishness displayed should be a badge of honor.
Words / Actions Uncompromised // Raw & Honest.
I forget my lessons: impersonal, ‘Do no Damage’, emasculated passion.
It is foolish of me to give the tools to hurt me – Ostentatious.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Lost in my files
Here is another “magical” story.
I came across The Virgin’s Knot by Holly Payne because
I noticed Tracy Chevalier had a new novella.
Virgin Blue.
It just so happened that whomever inputed the novel
into the system erroneously posted the cover image for
The Virgin’s Knot.
Beautiful.
Another magical read.
I do not know if it is so much these works are “jumping out”
at me or if I am just more attuned with what I like to read.
.
.
.
I think I am going to be sick!
Here is another “magical” story.
I came across The Virgin’s Knot by Holly Payne because
I noticed Tracy Chevalier had a new novella.
Virgin Blue.
It just so happened that whomever inputed the novel
into the system erroneously posted the cover image for
The Virgin’s Knot.
Beautiful.
Another magical read.
I do not know if it is so much these works are “jumping out”
at me or if I am just more attuned with what I like to read.
.
.
.
I think I am going to be sick!
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Madonna / Jezebel
Lily Burana’s book is not for everyone.
There are points of references to identify with – it helps.
It is not for everyone – should / would not be for most.
Very cliché-ish.
Reading while sun bathing in the back deck, it occurred to me that
it is not so much a fascination for the darker side of life;
it is more akin to understanding the motivation.
How it applies to me; the things I can get away with;
understanding the machismo mans’ perspective, desensitizing it
– immunize myself to another inherent aspect of my Self
then destroying the instinct / naturalness.
Coincidentally, I am just about through with the Virgin’s Knot.
I requested the book, currently reading the abridged audio version,
so I can Sense Acquire Visualize Experience (SAVE) the words.
Two-thirds of the way through the book, it got very erotic in
a deformed girl that is beautiful yet forbidden;
living in an exotic yet obtuse society – backward
through her work she is mystified and virginal!
Lily Burana’s book is not for everyone.
There are points of references to identify with – it helps.
It is not for everyone – should / would not be for most.
Very cliché-ish.
Reading while sun bathing in the back deck, it occurred to me that
it is not so much a fascination for the darker side of life;
it is more akin to understanding the motivation.
How it applies to me; the things I can get away with;
understanding the machismo mans’ perspective, desensitizing it
– immunize myself to another inherent aspect of my Self
then destroying the instinct / naturalness.
Coincidentally, I am just about through with the Virgin’s Knot.
I requested the book, currently reading the abridged audio version,
so I can Sense Acquire Visualize Experience (SAVE) the words.
Two-thirds of the way through the book, it got very erotic in
a deformed girl that is beautiful yet forbidden;
living in an exotic yet obtuse society – backward
through her work she is mystified and virginal!
Monday, August 18, 2003
Virgin's Knot
Reading (audiobook) Virgin’s Knot by Holly Payne.
It is about a deformed virgin Turkish girl rug weaver – Nurdane.
-break-
My nemesis at work tried to get into my head last Friday.
He believes he means well.
Spent most of the conversation reminding myself why I cannot completely trust him.
I got into his head. ha!
He is a guy . . . in all its faults.
Ollie is bias, even though he believes he treads on the middle ground
-not important-
In his defense, everyone is prejudice.
In the best of circumstances, he has a good heart.
In times of chaos, watch your back.
-break-
Growing up in the City
Exposing myself where 'Life is Cheap'
Seeing instances where 'Life is Beautiful'
Learning . . .
Seeking unlikely friendships . . .
Finding singular instances to praise differences . . .
Understanding others by ennobling the privileges & rights we take for granted daily.
It is my litmus test:
How would I wish to be treated?
Does it offend me?
Justice, Order, Balance?
The last thing I told Ollie was to not think / logic your decisions.
Accept responsibilities for the consequences but
Happiness is when you rush head first into circumstances / relationships
without considering all the benefits.
Because each of us know right / wrong.
Life can be easy if we allow it to be . . .
Only heed the self, unconsciously.
Reading (audiobook) Virgin’s Knot by Holly Payne.
It is about a deformed virgin Turkish girl rug weaver – Nurdane.
-break-
My nemesis at work tried to get into my head last Friday.
He believes he means well.
Spent most of the conversation reminding myself why I cannot completely trust him.
I got into his head. ha!
He is a guy . . . in all its faults.
Ollie is bias, even though he believes he treads on the middle ground
-not important-
In his defense, everyone is prejudice.
In the best of circumstances, he has a good heart.
In times of chaos, watch your back.
-break-
Growing up in the City
Exposing myself where 'Life is Cheap'
Seeing instances where 'Life is Beautiful'
Learning . . .
Seeking unlikely friendships . . .
Finding singular instances to praise differences . . .
Understanding others by ennobling the privileges & rights we take for granted daily.
It is my litmus test:
How would I wish to be treated?
Does it offend me?
Justice, Order, Balance?
The last thing I told Ollie was to not think / logic your decisions.
Accept responsibilities for the consequences but
Happiness is when you rush head first into circumstances / relationships
without considering all the benefits.
Because each of us know right / wrong.
Life can be easy if we allow it to be . . .
Only heed the self, unconsciously.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Uncertain
My new read is magical.
Incredibly, the author worked at Peepland when I had grew up in the late 80’s.
She escaped from Dover, Sussex & Newton where I tread now a day.
Considered the reoccurrence.
My current situation is simply an opportunity
for me to round out my experiences
- bridge some gaps.
I am as I have always been . . .
striving for something grander . . .
“If it is good today; it could be better tomorrow.”
“Be proud of what you have already accomplished
without being weighed by responsibilities.”
Where are the Zen principles now?
Setting others on an uncertain path by, “Take chances while there are still chances to be taken.”
I desperately try to remember all the things I wanted to accomplish.
Peter, ‘The Velvet Glove in an Iron Fist', once called me a sleeping giant.
My pursuit of the querida is so important. The sexually underlining backhand humor envelopes me in a giddiness; dwarfing the hunger that burns.
Just as I exercise to excess to reach the Brink of Burning out before throttling Back (BBB).
I have delineated my distribution list not out of spite . . .
In my experience, people are Possessive, Obtuse, Spiteful & Hateful (POSH).
An escape artist does not undertake undue baggage.
the Zenism returns
To finish . . . reading the audiobook of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
Observations:
He is not a good student
He breaks the rules
In the new novel, there are signs he is all too full of himself.
Plucky and all.
My new read is magical.
Incredibly, the author worked at Peepland when I had grew up in the late 80’s.
She escaped from Dover, Sussex & Newton where I tread now a day.
Considered the reoccurrence.
My current situation is simply an opportunity
for me to round out my experiences
- bridge some gaps.
I am as I have always been . . .
striving for something grander . . .
“If it is good today; it could be better tomorrow.”
“Be proud of what you have already accomplished
without being weighed by responsibilities.”
Where are the Zen principles now?
Setting others on an uncertain path by, “Take chances while there are still chances to be taken.”
I desperately try to remember all the things I wanted to accomplish.
Peter, ‘The Velvet Glove in an Iron Fist', once called me a sleeping giant.
My pursuit of the querida is so important. The sexually underlining backhand humor envelopes me in a giddiness; dwarfing the hunger that burns.
Just as I exercise to excess to reach the Brink of Burning out before throttling Back (BBB).
I have delineated my distribution list not out of spite . . .
In my experience, people are Possessive, Obtuse, Spiteful & Hateful (POSH).
An escape artist does not undertake undue baggage.
the Zenism returns
To finish . . . reading the audiobook of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
Observations:
He is not a good student
He breaks the rules
In the new novel, there are signs he is all too full of himself.
Plucky and all.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Something about the darkness attracts me
Embarking on a new novella – a biography.
But with the description such as:
“His illumination, this insight that hope, of all things, is part of the engine that drives the strip club economy, really gave me pause: Man, if I didn’t clue in to something as simple as that, what else have I missed? I can wax rapturous about what makes a women take off her clothes for money, or break down the rudimentary political ramifications of topless dancing. But beyond my own defensive analysis, I really don’t have any idea how it works. There are gaps in my consciousness you could drive a truck through. If I expect to get any smarter about this business, then I’d better get out there. Now it seems less a pipe dream than a mandatory assignment.”
Strip City: A Stripper’s Farewell Journey Across America
Lily Burana
It is easy to see the attraction.
This is one of ‘those’ instances where I was at the bookstore and the white cover illuminated.
Embarking on a new novella – a biography.
But with the description such as:
“His illumination, this insight that hope, of all things, is part of the engine that drives the strip club economy, really gave me pause: Man, if I didn’t clue in to something as simple as that, what else have I missed? I can wax rapturous about what makes a women take off her clothes for money, or break down the rudimentary political ramifications of topless dancing. But beyond my own defensive analysis, I really don’t have any idea how it works. There are gaps in my consciousness you could drive a truck through. If I expect to get any smarter about this business, then I’d better get out there. Now it seems less a pipe dream than a mandatory assignment.”
Strip City: A Stripper’s Farewell Journey Across America
Lily Burana
It is easy to see the attraction.
This is one of ‘those’ instances where I was at the bookstore and the white cover illuminated.
